Every day I interact with parents of small kids and it's amazing to hear the way that they speak to their kids. Rarely do I hear a parent explaining their reasons for asking a child to do something. Rather, the typical response is, "Because I said so." Also in speaking to parents about parenting, I can't count the number of times I've been told that kids in the 2-5 age group are "too young to understand" or "if I tell them (blank) that's all I'll hear for the next week."

Equally frustrating for me are the business owners and managers who treat their co-workers (they read this as employees) the same way. "It's none of their business", "Why should I share information with them, they'll tell the competition" I wholeheartedly disagree with both the mindset and the premise in both the parental setting and the workplace setting. Because why, you ask? B'cuz both informed kids and co-workers perform better when they know their parameters, their role and your expectations of them. I'll give you a quick example to illustrate each point.

Have you ever seen a scared, cranky, or bratty kid on a plane? We were about to take our then 3 year old twins on a trip involving a three hour flight that would begin really early in the morning. About two weeks before the trip we began talking about it, the airport, the people, security, the plane ride, expected behavior on the plane and some information about our destination. They asked lots of questions, we got a book about airports and took a ride up to the airport to watch the planes. The pre-planning paid off resulting in kids that knew what was coming. They weren't scared; they packed toys for the trip, enjoyed the travel and now are accomplished travelers with about 6,000 air miles under their belts. In all of those miles, we've had a total of one 5 minute meltdown, from each kid, and that was on a really bad 6 hour flight where some of the adults had longer tantrums.

Taking this to the office setting, at our firm we've always tried to keep our co-workers informed about new clients, why a client leaves the firm, expenses, income and what's ahead. We feel that this helps them focus on their job by controlling rumors and helping them understand that the company is stable and where we're planning to take it..

About 5 years ago, we gathered everyone together and piled $1.6 million in play money on the conference room table. We then pulled out the annual budget and played a guessing game to drive home what it cost to operate the business. Each time we subtracted money representing an expense, the pile got visibly smaller. When there was only about $15,000 left on the table, we announced how that pile (the bonus pool) was to be split.

The value to us was a group of informed coworkers who took hard looks at how they did their jobs and how we spent our money. In the end, we saved significant dollars because everyone was engaged in the process and making quality suggestions. The also knew exactly how much we spent each year taking care of them with benefits, insurance and such.

Take the time to inform and involve both your kids and your co-workers. Yes it takes time, but in the long run the time is better spent having pleasant conversations where people are engaged and learning something rather than having heated, stress-filled battles. Keeping everyone in the dark, like a mushroom in a forest, doesn't benefit anyone. There's also one other really good reason to do it: Because they're worth it!

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